Even if you’re aiming for elite fitness levels, a sliced-and-diced six-pack, and sub 10% body fat, you DON’T have to sacrifice alcohol altogether. It’s about moderation, optimal mixology, and smart choices — all of which we covered earlier this summer in The Lean Man’s (Or Woman’s) Drinking Guidebook: 8 Simple Ways To Drink Lean & Keep the Pounds Off.
The ding-ding-ding word there: smart choices. You can always Frankenstein a drink to significantly enhance its nutritional content/reduce its potential damage, but if your cocktail starter kit is so-far-gone to begin with, it’s game over, gut.
We’ve run the numbers and ranked 22 of the most popular cocktails — slotted from leanest (#1) to most explosively fattening (#22) — based on calories, % calories from alcohol, sugar, and carbs.
Which chuggable monstrosity takes the crown as the most fattening cocktail on earth? We count down from 1-22.
Sip Leaner. Counting Down The 22 Most Explosively Fattening Cocktails
A note: All nutritional info is computed based on common cocktail recipes listed at DrinksMixer.com. Recipes, ingredients, and drink sizes are always HIGHLY variable depending on who makes them, glass size, the # of shots used, mixology, and ingredients.
Consider all values to be a cocktail’s “nutritional average.” The majority of nutritional info online is misleading and incorrect — we’ve calculated drink totals from scratch based on the standard ingredients listed in each recipe.1
1. Bloody Mary – 80 calories, 81% calories from alcohol
What’s typically in it: 1 oz vodka, 3 oz tomato juice, hot sauce, Worcestershire sauce, lemon, celery
Nutrition Info: 80 calories, 9 g alcohol, 3 g sugar, 4 g carbs — 81% calories from alcohol.
Your lean gameplan: Drink up as is.
2. Vodka Soda w. Lime — 97 calories, 100% calories from alcohol
What’s typically in it: 1.5 oz vodka, 6.5 oz soda water, lime
Nutrition Info: 97 calories, 14 g alcohol, 0 g sugar, 0 g carbs — 100% calories from alcohol.
Your lean gameplan: Drink up as is.
3. Mimosa — 129 calories, 63% calories from alcohol
What’s typically in it: 4 oz. champagne, 2 oz. OJ
Nutrition Info: 129 calories, 12 g alcohol, 7 g sugar, 10 g carbs — 63% calories from alcohol.
Your lean gameplan: Use REAL orange juice, preferably with pulp.
4. Bay Breeze — 139 calories, 52% calories from alcohol
What’s typically in it: 1.5 oz. Malibu rum, 2 oz. cranberry juice, 2 oz. pineapple juice
Nutrition Info: 139 calories, 10 g alcohol, 14 g sugar, 24 g carbs — 52% calories from alcohol.
Your lean gameplan: Switch the Malibu out for a shot of light rum; more alcohol, fewer carbs.
5. Cranberry Vodka — 145 calories, 45% calories from alcohol
What’s typically in it: 1 oz. vodka, 4.5 oz. cranberry juice, splash lime juice, splash OJ
Nutrition Info: 145 calories, 9 g alcohol, 20 g sugar, 21 g carbs — 45% calories from alcohol.
Your lean gameplan: Use real cranberry juice; cranberry juice cocktail is loaded with HFCS and other added sugars.
6. Rum & Coke — 154 calories, 63% calories from alcohol
What’s typically in it: 1.5 oz. dark rum, 4.5 oz. Coca-Cola, lime
Nutrition Info: 154 calories, 14 g alcohol, 15 g sugar, 15 g carbs — 63% calories from alcohol.
Your lean gameplan: Use Diet Coke; you’ll cut out 56 calories, 15 g of sugar & carbs.
7. Mojito — 180 calories, 54% calories from alcohol
What’s typically in it: 1.5 oz. light rum, 3 oz. mojito mix, 4 oz. club soda
Nutrition Info: 180 calories, 14 g alcohol, 19.5 g sugar, 21 g carbs — 54% calories from alcohol.
Your lean gameplan: Make a real mojito. Skip the mix and use real mint, lime, and a little cane sugar; you’ll save 75 calories and 20 g of sugar & carbs.
8. Screwdriver — 185 calories, 53% calories from alcohol
What’s typically in it: 1.5 oz. vodka, 6 oz. OJ
Nutrition Info: 185 calories, 14 g alcohol, 17 g sugar, 20 g carbs — 53% calories from alcohol.
Your lean gameplan: Use real OJ, preferably with pulp.
9. Gin & Tonic — 186 calories, 70% calories from alcohol
What’s typically in it: 2 oz. gin, 5 oz. tonic water, 1 tbsp lime juice
Nutrition Info: 186 calories, 19 g alcohol, 14 g sugar, 14 g carbs — 70% calories from alcohol.
Your lean gameplan: Use diet tonic water; you’ll cut out 56 calories, 14 g of sugar & carbs.
10. Sex on the Beach — 191 calories, 63% calories from alcohol
What’s typically in it: 1.5 oz. vodka, .5 oz. peach schnapps, 2 oz. cranberry juice, 2 oz. OJ
Nutrition Info: 191 calories, 17 g alcohol, 17 g sugar, 18 g carbs — 63% calories from alcohol.
Your lean gameplan: Use real OJ & cranberry juice, and skip the peach schnapps; you’ll cut out 36 calories, 3 g of carbs & sugar.
11. Tequila Sunrise — 223 calories, 44% calories from alcohol
What’s typically in it: 1.5 oz. tequila, 6 oz. OJ, .5 oz. grenadine
Nutrition Info: 223 calories, 14 g alcohol, 23 g sugar, 30 g carbs — 44% calories from alcohol.
Your lean gameplan: Use real OJ and swap the grenadine for cranberry; you’ll cut out 24 calories, 10 g of sugar, and 14 g of carbs.
12. Blue Hawaiian — 225 calories, 55% calories from alcohol
What’s typically in it: 1 oz. light rum, 2 oz. pineapple juice, 1 oz. Blue Curacao, 1 oz. cream of coconut
Nutrition Info: 225 calories, 18 g alcohol, 13 g sugar, 17 g carbs, 5 g fat — 55% calories from alcohol.
Your lean gameplan: Nix the cream of coconut; you’ll save 55 calories and 5 g of fat.
13. Strawberry Daiquiri — 238 calories, 41% calories from alcohol
What’s typically in it: 1.5 oz. light rum, 4 oz. strawberry daiquiri mix
Nutrition Info: 238 calories, 14 g alcohol, 33 g sugar, 34 g carbs — 41% calories from alcohol.
Your lean gameplan: Make a real daiquiri without the mix, using fresh strawberries, lime, and sugar (or Stevia), if needed. Using Stevia, you’ll knock it down to 176 calories, 7 g sugar, 11 g carbs, plus add fiber & antioxidants.
14. Caribou Lou — 256 calories, 77% calories from alcohol
What’s typically in it: 1 oz. Bacardi 151, 1 oz. Malibu rum, 5 oz. pineapple juice
Nutrition Info: 256 calories, 28 g alcohol, 16 g sugar, 25 g carbs — 77% calories from alcohol.
Your lean gameplan: Flip the Bacardi 151 for regular rum; you’ll cut out 60 calories.
15. Sangria — 320 calories, 42% calories from alcohol
What’s typically in it: 5 oz. red wine, lemon, orange, .25 oz sugar, .6 oz triple sec, strawberries, 6.5 oz. ginger ale
Nutrition Info: 320 calories, 19 g alcohol, 35 g sugar, 38 g carbs — 44% calories from alcohol.
Your lean gameplan: Make it without table sugar or soda, or use diet ginger ale/Sprite Zero/soda water; you’ll save 105 calories, and 26 g of sugar & carbs. Cut out the triple sec, too, and you’ll knock each glass down to just 160 calories and under 10 g of sugar & carbs.
16. Zombie — 355 calories, 84% calories from alcohol
What’s typically in it: .5 oz. Bacardi 151 rum, 2 oz. light rum, 1 oz. dark rum, .5 oz. apricot brandy, 1 oz. pineapple juice, 1 oz. OJ, 1 tsp. sugar, lime juice
Nutrition Info: 355 calories, 43 g alcohol, 15 g sugar, 18.9 g carbs — 84% calories from alcohol.
Your lean gameplan: Alcohol overload. Skip it.
17. Mudslide — 438 calories, 43% calories from alcohol
What’s typically in it: 1.5 oz. vodka, 1.5 oz. Kahlua, 1.5 oz. Bailey’s, 1.5 oz. half-and-half
Nutrition Info: 438 calories, 27 g alcohol, 31 g sugar, 35 g carbs — 43% calories from alcohol.
Your lean gameplan: Helpless, skip it.
18. Pina Colada — 458 calories, 42% calories from alcohol
What’s typically in it: 3 oz. rum, 3 oz. coconut cream, 6 oz. pineapple juice
Nutrition Info: 458 calories, 28 g alcohol, 24 g sugar, 31 g carbs — 43% calories from alcohol.
Your lean gameplan: Helpless, skip it.
19. Hurricane — 501 calories, 42% calories from alcohol
What’s typically in it: 1.5 oz. amaretto, 1 oz. light rum, 1 oz. dark rum, 6 oz. OJ, 6 oz. pineapple juice, splash grenadine
Nutrition Info: 501 calories, 30 g alcohol, 43 g sugar, 75 g carbs — 42% calories from alcohol.
Your lean gameplan: Helpless, skip it.
20. Mai Tai — 580 calories, 76% calories from alcohol
What’s typically in it: 3 oz. light rum, 2 oz. dark rum, 1 oz. creme de almond, 1 oz. triple sec, 1 oz. sweet and sour mix, 1 oz. pineapple juice
Nutrition Info: 580 calories, 63 g alcohol, 30.2 g sugar, 34.5 g carbs — 76% calories from alcohol.
Your lean gameplan: Alcohol overload. Skip it.
21. Long Island Iced Tea — 620 calories, 77% calories from alcohol
What’s typically in it: 1.5 oz. vodka, 1.5 oz. rum, 1.5 oz. tequila, 1.5 oz. gin, 2 oz. sweet & sour mix, .5 oz. Coca-Cola
Nutrition Info: 620 calories, 68 g alcohol, 34.5 g sugar, 35 g carbs — 77% calories from alcohol.
Your lean gameplan: Alcohol overload, avoid it.
22. Margarita — 622 calories, 61% calories from alcohol
What’s typically in it: 4 oz. tequila, 4 oz. margarita mix, 2 oz. triple sec, lime juice, 1 tsp sugar
Nutrition Info: 622 calories, 54 g alcohol, 59 g sugar, 60.2 g carbs — 61% calories from alcohol.
Your lean gameplan: Most margaritas are entirely too large and made with an abundance of mix and added sugars. Rebuild it from scratch with less alcohol, no mix, and natural ingredients.
Make it with 1 shot of quality blanco tequila (1.5 oz.), fresh lime juice, a salted rim, a little agave nectar or Stevia, and muddled fruit of your choice — you’ll keep it under 200 calories, cut out more than 40 grams of sugar & carbs, and replace the artificial junk with fiber, antioxidants, and natural flavor. I like this recipe.
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